@ Semoga Lelah ini bernilai Indah

Hari ini begitu lelah, bukan berarti aku harus mengeluh
Entah diriku tak se SEMANGAT seperti dulu
Mudah capek dan kurang bersemangat
Ya RABB.......
Bantu hamba untuk tetap bersabar dalam mengarungi perjalanan hidup ini
Meski rapuh ketika kaki ini melangkah, tapi hatiku tak boleh rapuh begitu saja
Terus berjuang dalam mencapai impian dan cita-cita
Walau hanya setetes wujud yang didapatkan
Tapi aku yakin....
ALLAH akan menilai segala ikhtiarku, bukan wujudnya hasil yang ku peroleh
Maka dari itu, meskipun langkah tertatih berjalan
Namun JIWA JIHAD padamu tetap ku gapai.

Heeeeeeemmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, lelahku jangan menzoliminku

@ Jadikan Islam Sebagai Kebanggaan Hidup

"SETIAP anak dilahirkan dalam keadaan fitrah, kedua orang tuanya-lah yang menjadikannya Yahudi, Nasrani dan Majusi," demikian kutip sebuah hadits yang diriwayatkan Bukhari dan Muslim

Fitrah Allah maksudnya ciptaan Allah. Sebab manusia diciptakan Allah mempunyai naluri beragama yaitu agama tauhid. Kalau ada manusia tidak beragama tauhid, maka hal itu tidaklah wajar. Mereka tidak beragama tauhid itu hanyalah lantaran pengaruh lingkungan sosial. Jadi gharizah tadayyun adalah permanen, kecenderungan kepada kekafiran adalah susulan.

Batasan agama yang lurus menurut arahan Allah SWT dan Rasulullah SAW diatas menggunakan terma fitrah, sedangkan agama yang lain menggunakan istilah Yahudi, Nasrani dan Majusi. Maka, makna fitrah yang benar adalah Islam itu sendiri. Agama yang melekat dalam diri manusia sejak di alam rahim ibu.

Al-Quran mengatakan, “Maka hadapkanlah wajahmu dengan lurus kepada agama Allah (tetaplah atas) fitrah Allah yang telah menciptakan manusia menurut fitrah itu. tidak ada peubahan pada fitrah Allah. (Itulah) agama yang lurus (dinul qayyim), tetapi kebanyakan manusia tidak mengetahui.” (QS. Ar Rum (30) : 3)).

Sebelum menjadi janin, manusia sudah bersyahadat di hadapan Allah SWT. Ketika lahir diingatkan ulang kalimat tersebut di telinga kanan dengan suara adzan dan di telinga kiri dengan suara iqamat. Agar dalam kehidupan yang penuh ujian nanti, tidak sampai tergoda/tergelincir/terperosok ke dalam jurang kehancuran (darul bawar), dan meninggalkan Islam. Baik, diuji dengan jabatan, kekayaan dan ilmu.

“Dan (ingatlah), ketika Tuhanmu mengeluarkan keturunan anak-anak Adam dari sulbi mereka dan Allah mengambil kesaksian terhadap jiwa mereka (seraya berfirman): "Bukankah aku ini Tuhanmu?" mereka menjawab: "Betul (Engkau Tuban kami), Kami menjadi saksi". (kami lakukan yang demikian itu) agar di hari kiamat kamu tidak mengatakan: "Sesungguhnya Kami (Bani Adam) adalah orang-orang yang lengah terhadap ini (keesaan Tuhan)." (QS. Al Araf (7) : 172).

Berpaling dari Islam adalah menyiksa dirinya sendiri. Karena ia melempar dimensi spiritual di dalam dirinya. Maka kehidupan manusia akan mengalami kehampaan (krisis makna). Apa yang diburu dan dimilikinya tidak menambah kebaikan dirinya, keluarganya dan lingkungan sosialnya (tidak barakah).

Jadi, karunia yang paling mahal dalam kehidupan ini adalah lazzatur ruh (keezatan spiritual), lazzatul Iman wal Islam (kenikmatan beriman dan berislam). Sekalipun kita menggenggam kekayaan dunia tujuh turunan, kekuasaan yang tanpa pensiun, ilmu yang tinggi (sundhul langit, Bhs Jawa), kehidupan yang memiliki pengaruh yang besar, popularitas, tetapi tidak ditemani oleh Islam akan membuat kita kecewa seumur hidup. Sedangkan, sekalipun kita tinggal di gubug reot, di balik jeruji, di rumah kontrakan, kehidupan pas-pasan, jika islam bersama kita, justru disitulah rahasia kemuliaan, dan kebahagiaan kita.

Berbeda dengan dunya (sesuatu yang dekat), mata’ (kepuasaan sesaat), nikmat dinul Islam hanya diberikan kepada hamba yang dicintai-Nya. Itulah sebabnya banyak sekali orang yang menyatakan dirinya secara formal memeluk Islam, tetapi dalam realitas kehidupannya ada yang merasa tidak nyaman dengan atribut keislaman. Bahkan Islam yang indah dan mulia tersebut disalahpahami. Dahulu Islam ditambah-tambah. Kemudian Islam dikurangi. Islam tanpa jihad, Islam tanpa hudud. Sekarang ini Islam diberi embel-embel lain. Islam radikal, Islam moderat dll. Islam masih dipandang belum sempurna. Sehingga memerlukan pengurangan dan penambahan, sehingga dia tidak merasa at home untuk memakainya.

Islam sebagai Dinullah

Nama Muslim bukanlah nama yang diberikan oleh orangtua kita, bukan pula warisan nama yang diberikan oleh nenek moyang kita, bukan pula nama yang dibuat oleh Rasulullah SAW. Yang memberi nama seseorang sebagai Muslim adalah Allah SWT sendiri.

Allah SWT memberi standar (ukuran), criteria (sifat) , status (posisi) orang tertentu yang memenuhi kelayakan sebagai Muslim. Tentu, Muslim disini adalah Muslim hakiki, lahir dan batin, hissiyyan wa ma’nawiyyan (penampakan lahiriyah dan batiniyah).

Jadi, Muslim adalah sebuah nama yang agung, yang bersumber dari Tuhan Yang Maha Mulia. Sejak sebelum Rasulullah SAW diutus di muka bumi ini.

“Dan berjihadlah kamu pada jalan Allah dengan jihad yang sebenar-benarnya. Dia telah memilih kamu dan Dia sekali-kali tidak menjadikan untuk kamu dalam agama suatu kesempitan. (Ikutilah) agama orang tuamu Ibrahim. Dia (Allah) telah menamai kamu sekalian orang-orang Muslim dari dahulu [kitab-kitab yang diturunkan sebelum Rasulullah SAW], dan (begitu pula) dalam (Al Quran) ini, supaya Rasul itu menjadi saksi atas dirimu dan supaya kamu semua menjadi saksi atas segenap manusia, Maka dirikanlah sembahyang, tunaikanlah zakat dan berpeganglah kamu pada tali Allah. Dia adalah Pelindungmu, Maka Dialah Sebaik-baik pelindung dan sebaik- baik penolong.” (QS. Al Hajj (22) : 78).

Dahulu para sahabat sangat bangga menjadi Muslim. Mereka mengatakan, ”Ayahku adalah Islam. Tiada lagi selain Islam. Apabila orang bangga dengan suku, bangsa, kelompok, marga, perkumpulan, paham mereka, tapi aku bangga nasabku adalah Islam. Suatu ketika Salman Al-Farisi radhiyallahu anhu ditanya, ”Keturunan siapa Kamu ?” Salman yang membanggakan keislamannya, tidak mengatakan dirinya keturunan Persia, tapi ia mengatakan dengan lantang, ”Saya putera Islam.” inilah sebabnya Rasulullah saw mendeklarasikan bahwa, ”Salman adalah bagian dari keluarga kami –ahlul bait-, bagian dari keluarga Muhammad saw.”

Islam sebagai Dinul Insaniyyah 

Jika merujuk nama manusia menggunakan istilah ‘Al-Insan’ mengandung pengertian yang mendalam. Dari kalimat tersebut melahirkan makna turunan ‘al-Uns’ (harmonis). Ini menunjukkan sesungguhnya sifat dasar manusia mudah untuk menjalin komunikasi dengan yang lain (makhluqun madani), meminjam istilah Ibnu Khaldun. Sesungguhnya inti dinul Islam adalah pandai bergaul (ad-Dinu huwal mua’amalah). Indikator kecintaan Allah SWT kepada hamba-Nya adalah hamba tersebut dicintai orang-orang terdekatnya.

Jika terhadap komunitas terdekat tidak memiliki jiwa besar. Mustahil bisa berinteraksi dengan lingkungan social yang lebih luas. Lingkungan terdekat secara minimal terdiri dari 160 KK. Empat puluh KK arah depan. Empat puluh KK arah belakang. Empat puluh KK arah kiri. Dan empat puluh KK arah kanan.

Karena fitrah manusia itu senang kepada perbuatan yang dikenali hati (al-Ma’ruf). Senang kepada kejujuran, keadilan, keberanian dalam membela kebenaran, dermawan. Dan tidak senang kepada sesuatu yang diingkari hati (al-Mungkar). Misalnya, kebohongan, ketidak jujuran, kelemahan, kikir, egois, mau benar sendiri sekalipun tidak benar.

Jika dalam kehidupan manusia memarginalkan dimensi naluri kepada sifat-sifat kemanusiaan ini, maka manusia akan menjadi srigala bagi yang lain. Ia menjadi keras hati, tertutup.Ada sebuah pameo “ Hari ini makan apa, besok dan lusa makan siapa”.

Islam sebagai Manhajul Hayah

Dalam tata bahasa Arab, Muslim adalah isim fa’il (pelaku) yang berasal dari kata - aslama-yuslimu-islaman – yang bermakna berserah diri. Dari akar kata aslama melahirkan kata turunan (derivat) – at-Taslim (berserah diri), as-Silmu (damai), salima minal mustaqdzirat (steril dari motivasi yang kotor), as Salamu (kesejahteraan), as-Salamah (keselamatan lingkungan). Dari turunan terma Al-Islam telah tergambar sistem kehidupan secara utuh. Yaitu sistem aqidah dan ibadah, sistem sosial, sistem akhlak, sistem ekonomi, sistem penyelamatan lingkungan,

Manhajul hayah artinya menjadikan  Islam (al-Quran) sebagai panduan aturan kehidupan manusia. Jadi seorang Muslim adalah orang yang telah menyerahkan jiwa dan raganya, pikiran, hati dan perilakunya untuk mengabdikan diri sepenuhnya kepada Allah SWT. Dan ia yakin dengan cara demikian ia akan merasakan kehidupan yang damai, bisa berbuat dengan tulus, makmur, sejahtera, bisa menyelamatkan lingkungan social dari berbagai bencana.

Seorang Muslim menjalankan segala aspek kehidupannya dengan merujuk referensi Islam. Dalam skala kehidupan individu, keluarga, masyarakat, bangsa. Sejak kelahirannya (fiqh aqiqah) hingga kematiannya (fiqh janazah). Menyangkut system ideology, politik, social budaya, pendidikan, ekonomi, pertahanan kemanan dll.

Islam sebagai Dinul Kaun

Sudah kita maklumi, segala sesuatu yang ada di alam semesta ini tunduk kepada suatu peraturan tertentu dan menginduk kepada undang-undang tertentu. Matahari, bulan dan bintang-bintang semuanya patuh kepada suatu peraturan yang permanen (tetap), tidak dapat bergeser atau menyeleweng darinya sedikitpun meskipun seujung rambut (hukum alam).

Bumi berputar mengelilingi sumbunya. Ia tidak dapat beranjak dari masa, gerak dan jalan yang telah ditetapkan baginya. Air,  udara, cahaya dan panas semuanya tunduk kepada suatu sistem yang khas (unik). Benda-benda yang tidak bernyawa, tumbuh-tumbuhan dan binatang-binatang tunduk kepada sesuatu ketentuan yang pasti, tidak lahir dan tidak mati kecuali menurut ketentuan itu.

Demikian pula setiap fase kehidupannya, secara sistematis tunduk kepada pemilik dan pencipta kehidupan. Sejak fase kehidupannya di rahim ibu (berupa janin), ia hidup dengan tenang. Ia dilindungi oleh-Nya dari gangguan suara, panas dan dingin. Kemudian menjadi bayi (shobi), ia diajari oleh Allah menangis ketika dalam keadaan lapar. Kemudian menuju masa kecil (thifl). Ia diajari oleh Allah SWT berbicara, merangkak, berjalan dan berlari. Lalu menuju masa ABG (murahiq). Kemudian melawati masa dewasa (kuhulah). Dan melewati masa syaikh (umur 40 keatas). Dua kelemahan yang melekat pada diri anak Adam adalah masa kecil dan masa tua. Semua fase kehidupan diatas tunduk pada ketentuan Allah SWT. Siapapun tidak bisa menolaknya. Sekalipun mulutnya mengatakan bahwa dirinya Yahudi, Nasrani dan Majusi. Jika manusia bisa memilih, tentu ia ingin tidak melewati masa kecil dan masa tua. Karena masa kecil merepotkan orang tuanya. Dan masa tua merepotkan anak-anaknya.

Islam sebagau Dinul Hadharah

Islam yang diturunkan sebagai din, sebenarnya telah memiliki konsep seminalnya (ilmiah) yang spesifik (unik) sebagai peradaban (kemajuan hidup secara lahir dan batin). Sebab kata din (dal-yak-nun) itu sendiri telah mengandung keragaman makna, ketundukan, keberhutangan manusia kepada Tuhan, struktur kekuasaan, susunan hukum, dan kecenderungan manusia untuk membentuk masyarakat yang mentaati hukum dan mencari pemerintah yang adil. Memiliki makna pula, kecenderungan manusia secara fitrah kembali kepada Perjanjian Pertama Dengan Allah SWT ketika di alam rahim ibu.

وَإِذْ أَخَذَ رَبُّكَ مِن بَنِي آدَمَ مِن ظُهُورِهِمْ ذُرِّيَّتَهُمْ وَأَشْهَدَهُمْ عَلَى أَنفُسِهِمْ أَلَسْتَ بِرَبِّكُمْ قَالُواْ بَلَى شَهِدْنَا أَن تَقُولُواْ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ إِنَّا كُنَّا عَنْ هَذَا غَافِلِينَ

“Dan (ingatlah), ketika Tuhanmu mengeluarkan keturunan anak-anak Adam dari sulbi mereka dan Allah mengambil kesaksian terhadap jiwa mereka (seraya berfirman): "Bukankah Aku ini Tuhanmu?" mereka menjawab: "Betul (Engkau Tuban kami), kami menjadi saksi". (Kami lakukan yang demikian itu) agar di hari kiamat kamu tidak mengatakan: "Sesungguhnya kami (Bani Adam) adalah orang-orang yang lalai terhadap ini (keesaan Tuhan)." (QS. Al-A’raf (7) : 172).

Dari din muncul berbagai derivasi (kata turunan), daana (berhutang), da’in (pemberi hutang), dayn (kewajiban), dayunah (hukuman/pengadilan), idanah (keyakinan). Artinya dalam istilah din itu tersirat sistem kehidupan yang utuh. Dinul Islam berarti pola kehidupan yang dibingkai oleh spirit Islam. Paham, perilaku dan kultur kehidupan yang diserap dari nilai-nilai ilahiyah (ketuhanan).

Karena itulah, pada pesan terakhir Allah pada Nabi Muhammad, menyatakan bahwa Islam sebagai agama (din) yang telah sempurnya.

“Pada hari ini telah Kusempurnakan untuk kamu agamamu, dan telah Ku-cukupkan kepadamu nikmat-Ku, dan telah Ku-ridhai Islam itu jadi agama bagimu.” (QS. Al-Maidah (5) : 3).

 إِنَّ الدِّينَ عِندَ اللّهِ الإِسْلاَمُ وَمَا اخْتَلَفَ الَّذِينَ أُوْتُواْ الْكِتَابَ إِلاَّ مِن بَعْدِ مَا جَاءهُمُ الْعِلْمُ بَغْياً بَيْنَهُمْ وَمَن يَكْفُرْ بِآيَاتِ اللّهِ فَإِنَّ اللّهِ سَرِيعُ الْحِسَابِ

“Sesungguhnya agama (yang diridhai) disisi Allah hanyalah Islam. tiada berselisih orang-orang yang telah diberi Al Kitab [yang diturunkan sebelum Al Quran] kecuali sesudah datang pengetahuan kepada mereka, karena kedengkian (yang ada) di antara mereka, barangsiapa yang kafir terhadap ayat-ayat Allah maka sesungguhnya Allah sangat cepat hisab-Nya.” (QS. Ali Imran (3) : 19).

Mudah-mudahan, kita dan keluarga kita semakin istiqomah untuk berislam dan bangga kepada pada agama Islam. Sebagaimana Allah telah mengatakan keridhoannaya pada agama ini.*

sumber : www.hidayatullah.com

@ Mentoring SMANSAKA, tukar kado

Seru juga ya ternyata tukar kado dengan adik-adik ROHIS. Disini kita tidak melihat nilai kado yang kita peroleh atau tidak memandang untung ruginya kita memberikan maupun mendapatkan kado yang akan kita dapati maupun kita berikan. Petiklah hikmah dari kebersamaan yang kita lalui selama ini, karena betapa hangatnya ukhuwah yang didapati. Tetap jaga tali silaturrahmi kita, jangan sampai terputus begitu saja, karena dengan adanya ukhuwah ini kita mampu memperkokoh iman dan taqwa kita. ALLAHumma Amiiin.

Teruslah belajar memperbaiki diri, walau sedikit demi sedikit asal konsisten. Karna HIDUP ITU PROSES BELAJAR !!!
Mba sebagai tutor, berharap semoga kalian menjadi wanita idaman SYURGA  (Amiin) ^__^

@ God Sees the Truth, But Waits (By. Leo Tolstoy)

In the town of Vladimir lived a young merchant named Ivan Dmitrich Aksionov. He had two shops and a house of his own.

Aksionov was a handsome, fair-haired, curly-headed fellow, full of fun, and very fond of singing. When quite a young man he had been given to drink, and was riotous when he had had too much; but after he married he gave up drinking, except now and then.

One summer Aksionov was going to the Nizhny Fair, and as he bade good-bye to his family, his wife said to him, "Ivan Dmitrich, do not start to-day; I have had a bad dream about you."

Aksionov laughed, and said, "You are afraid that when I get to the fair I shall go on a spree."

His wife replied: "I do not know what I am afraid of; all I know is that I had a bad dream. I dreamt you returned from the town, and when you took off your cap I saw that your hair was quite grey."

Aksionov laughed. "That's a lucky sign," said he. "See if I don't sell out all my goods, and bring you some presents from the fair."

So he said good-bye to his family, and drove away.

When he had travelled half-way, he met a merchant whom he knew, and they put up at the same inn for the night. They had some tea together, and then went to bed in adjoining rooms.

It was not Aksionov's habit to sleep late, and, wishing to travel while it was still cool, he aroused his driver before dawn, and told him to put in the horses.

Then he made his way across to the landlord of the inn (who lived in a cottage at the back), paid his bill, and continued his journey.

When he had gone about twenty-five miles, he stopped for the horses to be fed. Aksionov rested awhile in the passage of the inn, then he stepped out into the porch, and, ordering a samovar to be heated, got out his guitar and began to play.

Suddenly a troika drove up with tinkling bells and an official alighted, followed by two soldiers. He came to Aksionov and began to question him, asking him who he was and whence he came. Aksionov answered him fully, and said, "Won't you have some tea with me?" But the official went on cross-questioning him and asking him. "Where did you spend last night? Were you alone, or with a fellow-merchant? Did you see the other merchant this morning? Why did you leave the inn before dawn?"

Aksionov wondered why he was asked all these questions, but he described all that had happened, and then added, "Why do you cross-question me as if I were a thief or a robber? I am travelling on business of my own, and there is no need to question me."

Then the official, calling the soldiers, said, "I am the police-officer of this district, and I question you because the merchant with whom you spent last night has been found with his throat cut. We must search your things."
They entered the house. The soldiers and the police-officer unstrapped Aksionov's luggage and searched it. Suddenly the officer drew a knife out of a bag, crying, "Whose knife is this?"

Aksionov looked, and seeing a blood-stained knife taken from his bag, he was frightened.
"How is it there is blood on this knife?"

Aksionov tried to answer, but could hardly utter a word, and only stammered: "I--don't know--not mine." Then the police-officer said: "This morning the merchant was found in bed with his throat cut. You are the only person who could have done it. The house was locked from inside, and no one else was there. Here is this blood-stained knife in your bag and your face and manner betray you! Tell me how you killed him, and how much money you stole?"

Aksionov swore he had not done it; that he had not seen the merchant after they had had tea together; that he had no money except eight thousand rubles of his own, and that the knife was not his. But his voice was broken, his face pale, and he trembled with fear as though he went guilty.

The police-officer ordered the soldiers to bind Aksionov and to put him in the cart. As they tied his feet together and flung him into the cart, Aksionov crossed himself and wept. His money and goods were taken from him, and he was sent to the nearest town and imprisoned there. Enquiries as to his character were made in Vladimir. The merchants and other inhabitants of that town said that in former days he used to drink and waste his time, but that he was a good man. Then the trial came on: he was charged with murdering a merchant from Ryazan, and robbing him of twenty thousand rubles.

His wife was in despair, and did not know what to believe. Her children were all quite small; one was a baby at her breast. Taking them all with her, she went to the town where her husband was in jail. At first she was not allowed to see him; but after much begging, she obtained permission from the officials, and was taken to him. When she saw her husband in prison-dress and in chains, shut up with thieves and criminals, she fell down, and did not come to her senses for a long time. Then she drew her children to her, and sat down near him. She told him of things at home, and asked about what had happened to him. He told her all, and she asked, "What can we do now?"

"We must petition the Czar not to let an innocent man perish."

His wife told him that she had sent a petition to the Czar, but it had not been accepted.

Aksionov did not reply, but only looked downcast.

Then his wife said, "It was not for nothing I dreamt your hair had turned grey. You remember? You should not have started that day." And passing her fingers through his hair, she said: "Vanya dearest, tell your wife the truth; was it not you who did it?"

"So you, too, suspect me!" said Aksionov, and, hiding his face in his hands, he began to weep. Then a soldier came to say that the wife and children must go away; and Aksionov said good-bye to his family for the last time.

When they were gone, Aksionov recalled what had been said, and when he remembered that his wife also had suspected him, he said to himself, "It seems that only God can know the truth; it is to Him alone we must appeal, and from Him alone expect mercy."

And Aksionov wrote no more petitions; gave up all hope, and only prayed to God.

Aksionov was condemned to be flogged and sent to the mines. So he was flogged with a knot, and when the wounds made by the knot were healed, he was driven to Siberia with other convicts.

For twenty-six years Aksionov lived as a convict in Siberia. His hair turned white as snow, and his beard grew long, thin, and grey. All his mirth went; he stooped; he walked slowly, spoke little, and never laughed, but he often prayed.

In prison Aksionov learnt to make boots, and earned a little money, with which he bought The Lives of the Saints. He read this book when there was light enough in the prison; and on Sundays in the prison-church he read the lessons and sang in the choir; for his voice was still good.

The prison authorities liked Aksionov for his meekness, and his fellow-prisoners respected him: they called him "Grandfather," and "The Saint." When they wanted to petition the prison authorities about anything, they always made Aksionov their spokesman, and when there were quarrels among the prisoners they came to him to put things right, and to judge the matter.

No news reached Aksionov from his home, and he did not even know if his wife and children were still alive.
One day a fresh gang of convicts came to the prison. In the evening the old prisoners collected round the new ones and asked them what towns or villages they came from, and what they were sentenced for. Among the rest Aksionov sat down near the newcomers, and listened with downcast air to what was said.
One of the new convicts, a tall, strong man of sixty, with a closely-cropped grey beard, was telling the others what be had been arrested for.

"Well, friends," he said, "I only took a horse that was tied to a sledge, and I was arrested and accused of stealing. I said I had only taken it to get home quicker, and had then let it go; besides, the driver was a personal friend of mine. So I said, 'It's all right.' 'No,' said they, 'you stole it.' But how or where I stole it they could not say. I once really did something wrong, and ought by rights to have come here long ago, but that time I was not found out. Now I have been sent here for nothing at all... Eh, but it's lies I'm telling you; I've been to Siberia before, but I did not stay long."

"Where are you from?" asked some one.

"From Vladimir. My family are of that town. My name is Makar, and they also call me Semyonich."

Aksionov raised his head and said: "Tell me, Semyonich, do you know anything of the merchants Aksionov of Vladimir? Are they still alive?"

"Know them? Of course I do. The Aksionovs are rich, though their father is in Siberia: a sinner like ourselves, it seems! As for you, Gran'dad, how did you come here?"

Aksionov did not like to speak of his misfortune. He only sighed, and said, "For my sins I have been in prison these twenty-six years."

"What sins?" asked Makar Semyonich.

But Aksionov only said, "Well, well--I must have deserved it!" He would have said no more, but his companions told the newcomers how Aksionov came to be in Siberia; how some one had killed a merchant, and had put the knife among Aksionov's things, and Aksionov had been unjustly condemned.
When Makar Semyonich heard this, he looked at Aksionov, slapped his own knee, and exclaimed, "Well, this is wonderful! Really wonderful! But how old you've grown, Gran'dad!"

The others asked him why he was so surprised, and where he had seen Aksionov before; but Makar Semyonich did not reply. He only said: "It's wonderful that we should meet here, lads!"

These words made Aksionov wonder whether this man knew who had killed the merchant; so he said, "Perhaps, Semyonich, you have heard of that affair, or maybe you've seen me before?"

"How could I help hearing? The world's full of rumours. But it's a long time ago, and I've forgotten what I heard."

"Perhaps you heard who killed the merchant?" asked Aksionov.

Makar Semyonich laughed, and replied: "It must have been him in whose bag the knife was found! If some one else hid the knife there, 'He's not a thief till he's caught,' as the saying is. How could any one put a knife into your bag while it was under your head? It would surely have woke you up."

When Aksionov heard these words, he felt sure this was the man who had killed the merchant. He rose and went away. All that night Aksionov lay awake. He felt terribly unhappy, and all sorts of images rose in his mind. There was the image of his wife as she was when he parted from her to go to the fair. He saw her as if she were present; her face and her eyes rose before him; he heard her speak and laugh. Then he saw his children, quite little, as they: were at that time: one with a little cloak on, another at his mother's breast. And then he remembered himself as he used to be-young and merry. He remembered how he sat playing the guitar in the porch of the inn where he was arrested, and how free from care he had been. He saw, in his mind, the place where he was flogged, the executioner, and the people standing around; the chains, the convicts, all the twenty-six years of his prison life, and his premature old age. The thought of it all made him so wretched that he was ready to kill himself.

"And it's all that villain's doing!" thought Aksionov. And his anger was so great against Makar Semyonich that he longed for vengeance, even if he himself should perish for it. He kept repeating prayers all night, but could get no peace. During the day he did not go near Makar Semyonich, nor even look at him.
A fortnight passed in this way. Aksionov could not sleep at night, and was so miserable that he did not know what to do.

One night as he was walking about the prison he noticed some earth that came rolling out from under one of the shelves on which the prisoners slept. He stopped to see what it was. Suddenly Makar Semyonich crept out from under the shelf, and looked up at Aksionov with frightened face. Aksionov tried to pass without looking at him, but Makar seized his hand and told him that he had dug a hole under the wall, getting rid of the earth by putting it into his high-boots, and emptying it out every day on the road when the prisoners were driven to their work.

"Just you keep quiet, old man, and you shall get out too. If you blab, they'll flog the life out of me, but I will kill you first."

Aksionov trembled with anger as he looked at his enemy. He drew his hand away, saying, "I have no wish to escape, and you have no need to kill me; you killed me long ago! As to telling of you--I may do so or not, as God shall direct."

Next day, when the convicts were led out to work, the convoy soldiers noticed that one or other of the prisoners emptied some earth out of his boots. The prison was searched and the tunnel found. The Governor came and questioned all the prisoners to find out who had dug the hole. They all denied any knowledge of it. Those who knew would not betray Makar Semyonich, knowing he would be flogged almost to death. At last the Governor turned to Aksionov whom he knew to be a just man, and said:

"You are a truthful old man; tell me, before God, who dug the hole?"

Makar Semyonich stood as if he were quite unconcerned, looking at the Governor and not so much as glancing at Aksionov. Aksionov's lips and hands trembled, and for a long time he could not utter a word. He thought, "Why should I screen him who ruined my life? Let him pay for what I have suffered. But if I tell, they will probably flog the life out of him, and maybe I suspect him wrongly. And, after all, what good would it be to me?"

"Well, old man," repeated the Governor, "tell me the truth: who has been digging under the wall?"
Aksionov glanced at Makar Semyonich, and said, "I cannot say, your honour. It is not God's will that I should tell! Do what you like with me; I am your hands."

However much the Governor! tried, Aksionov would say no more, and so the matter had to be left.
That night, when Aksionov was lying on his bed and just beginning to doze, some one came quietly and sat down on his bed. He peered through the darkness and recognised Makar.

"What more do you want of me?" asked Aksionov. "Why have you come here?"

Makar Semyonich was silent. So Aksionov sat up and said, "What do you want? Go away, or I will call the guard!"

Makar Semyonich bent close over Aksionov, and whispered, "Ivan Dmitrich, forgive me!"

"What for?" asked Aksionov.

"It was I who killed the merchant and hid the knife among your things. I meant to kill you too, but I heard a noise outside, so I hid the knife in your bag and escaped out of the window."

Aksionov was silent, and did not know what to say. Makar Semyonich slid off the bed-shelf and knelt upon the ground. "Ivan Dmitrich," said he, "forgive me! For the love of God, forgive me! I will confess that it was I who killed the merchant, and you will be released and can go to your home."

"It is easy for you to talk," said Aksionov, "but I have suffered for you these twenty-six years. Where could I go to now?... My wife is dead, and my children have forgotten me. I have nowhere to go..."

Makar Semyonich did not rise, but beat his head on the floor. "Ivan Dmitrich, forgive me!" he cried. "When they flogged me with the knot it was not so hard to bear as it is to see you now ... yet you had pity on me, and did not tell. For Christ's sake forgive me, wretch that I am!" And he began to sob.

When Aksionov heard him sobbing he, too, began to weep. "God will forgive you!" said he. "Maybe I am a hundred times worse than you." And at these words his heart grew light, and the longing for home left him. He no longer had any desire to leave the prison, but only hoped for his last hour to come.

In spite of what Aksionov had said, Makar Semyonich confessed, his guilt. But when the order for his release came, Aksionov was already dead.

Sumber : http://www.classicreader.com/book/2162/1